The Other F-Word

It has never been appropriate to call someone this F-word, fat. At least not someone you are not intimately close with.

We in America, including myself, spend a lot of time worrying about self esteem. The worries range from our children not having sufficient self esteem, to us not loving ourselves properly, even to the people around us not validating our choices and in turn, hurting our self esteem.

There was a study done in England where 16.5K overweight British adults were surveyed. They were asked to guess their own weight without measurements, and 60% of those surveyed predicted their weight to be less than their actual weight. The ultimate findings of the study were: “that people who improperly assessed their own weight were 85 percent less likely to try and lose weight.” Logically, this works out. Why lose weight, when you’re already perfect in your own mind?

The conclusion however, only raises further questions. Why, if these findings are accurate, are we overly-encouraging body positivity, if that positivity will only make our problems worse?

My view is not that we should body-shame. To the contrary, no one should ever be shamed because of their body. Treating others with kindness is just a basic moral principle to which we all should adhere. “Fat-shaming” is counterproductive, nasty stuff. Just like with underestimation of weight, fat shaming inevitably leads to: “psychological distress, unhealthy behaviours, physiological stress, and weight gain,” according to Dr. Puhl at the University of Connecticut.

Now, with that clarification, it is equally counterproductive to praise someone for things which they ought to change. If I were praised for not taking care of my diabetes, why would I ever feel as though should change and start taking care of myself?

The unfortunate thing is that in the United States, with the spread of secularism, self esteem is seen as the “ultimate good”. This, in part, comes from a falsified study that claimed to trace nearly every issue, from anxiety to cancer, back to low self esteem.

Pop culture has furthered the idealisation of these things, Amy Schumer for example advocates for just doing what you want with no care for what the effects could be. This is a dangerous position and one that could have much worse negative effects than just low self esteem.

We in the US do not see the risks when we promote “fat-promotion,”. Obesity leads to Type 2 Diabetes, infertility, and heart conditions. Serious conditions that can eventually lead to a premature death.

Society has been quick to embrace the self-esteem movement, the notion that everyone’s feelings are to be honored in order to prevent crucial loss of self-esteem.

This is not particularly helpful when it comes to fixing personal problems. In fact, a lack of unearned self-esteem is often useful in overcoming those obstacles. You should feel good about yourself when you’ve accomplished something. That is how our brains are programmed. Again, that doesn’t mean that we should shame people who can’t change themselves. But doing the opposite and praising people for failing to make better decisions isn’t likely to create an environment where people are incentivised to make healthier decisions. It’s likely to reinforce the notion that nothing needs to change. And sometimes something needs to change.